Previously, I wrote about negotiations and how i had written things to Master to let Him know what my expectations were as His submissive and how these things made our transition easier, because it let Master know that i was totally committed to a total power exchange. Here is the first thing i wrote to Master:
I would like for Master to pick out my clothes or give me guidelines for what i can and cannot wear on a day to day basis. There are some exceptions that i would like to be allowed, to be approved by Master. On Sundays (which Master has established as a rest day for me) i would like to have some say in what i wear, even if it is just by expressing that i feel more comfortable in lounge pants. For now, when we go out in public, i would like to be able to express what i would be most comfortable in. Eventually, i hope to get to the point where Master knows what i would like to wear or what i feel comfortable in in different situations without having to say anything so that i can give complete control of this to Master. (To further add to this, i would like to say that i now also feel that i hope to get to the point that Master picks things out that make me uncomfortable but please Him when we go out in public). I want this to include everything all the way down to my hair and make-up. I want to be visually pleasing to Master at all times and be a possession He is proud of and likes to show off.
On days when i am having my period (which makes me very ill, sick to my stomach and sometimes unable to move without extreme, unwanted pain), i would like for Master to understand that i may not be feeling well and may need to have some exceptions made for those days. I would like to be able to express to Master what my limits may be on those days (and to have those limits listened to as long as they are within reason to Master).
I would like for Master to be in control and i want to be disciplined if i take an attitude with Master when he asks me to do something or dress a certain way, or if i behave poorly during training sessions.
I really like it when Master makes me ask permission to do simple things, like taking a shower, going to the bathroom, or smoking a cigarette (a habit Master is slowly breaking me of, yay!) I even enjoy it when Master makes me feel uncomfortable by telling me "No" and not letting me do what i want to do at the time. The discomfort makes me know that i am not in control, reminds me that i need Master's permission (for even the small things), and makes me happy that waiting is something i can do for Master.
(Here there was a side note for Master regarding a few experience we had shared, which I will address in a seperate post :)
I like it that Master has expectations for me everyday and chores that i must do to fill up much of my time. Not having to think about what needs to be done or what i am doing with my time helps keep me from feeling like i am floundering and lost in the day-to-day. (It also helps keep me on track and keep Master happy). When i don't meet master's expectations, i know that i am to be punished. I understand that the punishments will be uncomfortable and may make me cry sometimes (case in point, i lost my play time yesterday after one stupid mistake and it made me cry because i had disappointed Master that badly), but i expect master to continue with the punishments he deems appropriate for the situation. I understand that the punishments are not done to abuse me, but to help me learn to become a better submissive to my Master and to correct me when i have done wrong.
I understand that i am an over-indulger and that i need Master to set limits for me. I know that one area i truly struggle with is food; even when Master has put himself on a strict diet, he has not always expected me to abide by the same diet and in that way i am detrimental to him. I would like for Master to be more in control of our diet, including daily snacks and drings. I have enjoyed the times in the past when Master has told me exactly how much food i can put on my plate or ordered for me when we have gone out together, these things help me feel more in control of my own figure.
Master and i are in a lifetime partnership that involves raising children. I would like Master to remember that i have a lot of experience with children and a wide network of friends and resources to turn to when we have problems. When i set limits for our son, i would like for Master to tell me if He doesn't approve of those limits or would like different limits set so that we can discuss a better way to meet our son's needs and our needs.
I would like to have a "sharing time" with Master every day, during which all of our electronics (tv, computer, etc.) are shut off (except, maybe music if Master wants it). During this time i would like Master and i to communicate how we feel we are progressing in our relationiship, new things we would like to experience, where we both need to work harder, what things make us happy/unhappy during the day, and what things we like/dislike. I would really like this time to be a free-sharing time with no reprisals or punishments for the feelings expressed. During other times of the day i would like Master to keep the things we have shared in mind but make his own decisions for the both of us.
When Master feel the need to have a friend come over or to go out, i would appreciate it if Master makes those decisions without feeling the need to ask me if it is okay. I would ask that Master keep in mind that i also have a need for His time, especially if it is time Master has promised just for me and that i have been looking forward to.
Wednesday afternoons we have a babysitter and Saturday nights our son is asleep and Master does not work or have plans and I would like this to be our "special time" when we can do things that we would not otherwise be able to do; such as Master tying me up and leaving me somewhere in the house for his viewing pleasure, (forcing me to strip naked and be a piece of furniture,) throwing me on the ground and having his needs fulfilled while mine are ignored, being forced to sit unders Master's desk and service him, and other types of play that we come up with that may take more than the short time available during Master's work-week.
I enjoy the routine we have already started to establish during the past week. I like knowing that after our son goes down to bed at night I need to go wait on our bed, naked, for my daily punishments if i have acted inappropriately. This lets me know my place each day.
Also, practicing my posture in front of Master while we watch tv at night is a comforting ritual to me. I like it when Master does simple things for me during this time, also, like brushing my hair to his satisfaction, it lets me know that i have been well groomed for him.
I also like it that Master puts me to bed before he leaves for work each night; it has helped me feel more relaxed and free to sleep while he is gone. On nights that Master has to leave for work early (or nights that he has deemed my punishment is to stay up because i am very tired but was not good) i would like for Master to text me to tell me when i am to go to bed and to tell me good night and to be able to text him back when i am in bed. To this end, i would also like Master to help me make sure my phone stays charged and with me at all times.
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