Limits and Longings

Today Master J and i had a discussion about limits and longings...His limits and my longings for more. Wow, it was an amazing talk :) i had no idea until today that Master J was afraid of letting go and giving me more than i could handle...how do i assure Him that i can take what He gives me?

W/we have safe words set up in case things go farther than i can handle, and i trust that He will observe those safewords. Eight years of committment has taught me that i can trust Him; but i guess, to some extent, He doesn't trust Himself?

i have a need...a need to experience pain in new depths. i wish to be tied up so i can't wiggle away and spanked, paddled, and whipped till i can't take anymore. i need to feel pain across my whole body; i feel that there is not one inch of me that is too tender to handle pain, too sacred to be spared, or to intimate to be ignored. These feelings are scary to me, but even scarier is the thought that i may always be denied these experiences and that the pain may always be withheld.

I wish to experience this:

 i wish for you to let go. to let me feel. to give me pain in new depths. to not be afraid that you are giving me more than i can handle. to push the limits of what you think i can handle and give me just a little more.

to tie me up so i can't move. to torture me with the exquisite pain only you can give. to know that i long for more and more until i scream "red" and you know it is time to stop.





And then, when O/our discussion was all done and W/we both felt better about the things W/we had expressed, Master J put me across His legs and let go, truly let go for the first time. He spanked me until i was screaming and wiggling and then He spanked me more. As i sit here, typing this post, my ass still burns from the way He let go and spanked me this afternoon....and i dream of more.

While W/we cuddled for a few minutes afterwards i told Him how much i enjoyed it that He let go and He told me how freeing it was to be able to let go....and i know now that W/we will BOTH be looking forward to the next time.